The Dirtiest Pokemon Names

Is this blatant Pokémon clickbait? MAYBE. Is it funny as hell? I sure think so. Am I a curmudgeon who doesn’t see the appeal of Pokémon at all? Most assuredly.

Jigglypuff. Never let your friends find out you like Jigglypuffs.

Koffing. You’ll try it once because it sounds fun, but then it’s just too complicated and not really worth it.

Chansey. We all knew a Chansey, didn’t we? Yeah, we did.

250px-007Squirtle

sure it hasn’t

Swinub. Just… don’t ask. It’s better if you don’t know.

 

Togekiss. Kids these days, always Togekissing.

Probopass. Hurts at first; totally worth it.

Rotom. Hurts at first; not worth it.

Snivy. Probably what Chansey has.

Tepig. You tell people you Tepiged, but you never actually did.

Slurpuff. Don’t do drugs.

Licklilly. I mean… come on.

Squirtle. “I’m so sorry; that has never happened before.”

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Listicles are the Worst

Every year, Lake Superior State University releases a list of words to be removed from the Queen’s English due to mis- or over-use, or general uselessness. I submit that certain phrases and expressions should be retired for the same reasons.

shut upComparing anything to the Holocaust: Mild inconveniences are not the same as being sent to slave and death camps! Even injustices applied to groups of people are not. The holocaust was the Holocaust. That’s what makes it so bad. If everything was that bad, it wouldn’t be remarkable. Also included is comparing things/people to Nazis or Hitler.

‘-gate’: I wish to god that that incident had taken place at any other hotel so people would stop with the ‘-gate’ thing. GamerGate. DeflateGate. FIND SOMETHING NEW.

Just the Worst: As with Holocaust comparisons above, no, it probably is not. I certainly understand and appreciate hyperbole, but when you can seven different things per day “Just the Worst” the impact is somewhat lessened.

Clickbait: No, not the term Clickbait. Clickbait itself. Any headline that says “you won’t believe” or tells me I “Need to” do anything. No. Stop. All you’re doing is advertising how valueless your article actually is.

WTAF: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

What other phrases and expressions need to go?

DESR