Tired of the Hugo Awards? Ready for something new? Welcome to the First Annual Deano Awards! The rules are simple- in each category, any work by Dean (me) qualifies, and the winner is chosen by Dean (me). This way there is no room for bias, no sad puppies and I think we all agree that the result is pretty darn good. Let’s to the presentation.
Dean: Welcome to the 2015 Deano Award Show! Let’s get right to it, with the award for Best Short Story. The nominees are:
Both by Dean E.S. Richard. Let’s see who won!
[Dramatic lights and music]
And the winner is… Far, by Dean E.S. Richard. Dean, get up here!
Dean: Wow, this is really unexpected. I’m so honored. Given the strong competition in the field, I wasn’t really sure if I would win. Hoped, of course, but thank you so much to Dean, for selecting me for this honor, and of course Dean, for putting on such a great show. This is truly an honor.
Dean: Gracious as always! Let’s move on to best Novel.
Uh… You didn’t come out with a novel this year, Dean.
Dean: I was busy!
Dean: Well, we need a novel for the award.
Dean: …maybe it should be the Dean Lifetime Achievement Award?
Dean: …says the guy without a novel out.
Dean: Hey, it’s my show, asshole.
Dean: Fine, presenting the Dean Lifetime Achievement Award…